Rental Review: 2016 Jeep Patriot Or Maybe Compass

Rental Review: 2016 Jeep Patriot Or Maybe Compass

I rented a Jeep last week, and let me tell you, this thing was a Jeep. It defiantly looked like a Jeep. I could tell it was a Jeep because it said “Jeep” in many places, including right on the hood, which is just so Jeep. It wasn’t a Wrangler or a Grand Cherokee but it was a Jeep, to be sure.

To read about all the cool, wondrous, amazing, and super things this Jeep did, click the Jeep.


This is a picture of the inside of my hat which was American-made just like this Jeep. At least I assume the Jeep is made in America just like all Chrysler products. It was amazing in so many Jeepy ways. First of all, it had a steering wheel, which was good because it meant I could turn both left and right. I loved the freedom that gave me. Just knowing that I could choose any direction I wanted at intersections was enough to make me want to buy this very Jeepy Jeep. Unfortunately I will have to write many more reviews like this one and also work another job to someday afford this iconic vehicle.

I also enjoyed the gas pedal, because when I pressed it, the car became very loud. This was exciting! I don’t know if it had a regular automatic or a CVT (which a Jeep engineer told me stands for “Continuously Variable Transmission”) but it was defiantly loud. Even though the Jeep wasn’t very fast this loud sound made it seem very fast. I would say it was slower than a Porsche but probably as fast as all other cars.


It was sunny that day so these pictures didn’t come out good. But I did notice in this picture that the Jeep did not have a USB port which made it difficult to charge my iPhone 4 that I normally use to take the pictures of cars. I did pair my phone with Bluetooth though, which is this amazing tech that lets you talk without holding your phone. It worked about half the time which was great. Pairing was an easy process that only took seven steps.

There were lots of little bits of black plastic throughout the interior where buttons normally are which I assume means that I could bring this new Jeep back to the dealership and get more cool buttons put in at a later time. I liked how simple the stereo was — I couldn’t even tell what song was playing from my phone, which helped me stay focused on the road and maybe only look at my video camera five or six times. That reminds me I did a video review but I accidentally deleted it from my SD card.


I took this picture in front of this rock because that’s how driving this Jeep makes me feel — like a fully erect man. Using the 4X4 to go the Whole Foods was great — it handled the speed bumps like a trail rated Jeep even though it didn’t have the badge that makes it trail rated so I guess it probably isn’t. Even so it felt just like driving a Wrangler Unlimited through the Sahara especially when I spilled my Wildberry Smoothie. The steel wheels made it look manly and tough and also Jeepish.


I accidentally took this picture while I was playing Pokemon GO.

This Jeep costs somewhere between $17,695 and $50,134. Whatever it costs it is a good value especially when it is delivered to your front door by a truck with a trailer.

So to sum up this Jeep is defiantly a Jeep that does Jeep things in Jeep ways. If you want a Jeep you defiantly either want this or maybe another Jeep. Tell us what you think of this Jeep in the comments below! Jeep!

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